I hate not knowing. Being in a state of transition, stuck in a situation because of circumstances beyond my control, not knowing when or if things will change for the better. Kurt and I recently did some math and realized that even after lowering some of our monthly bills, with our current income, we will only be able to afford a $850 a month apartment. We are trying to move out of our house so we don’t have to split $1500 a month and so our landlord can sell the house. We’re both paid above minimum wage, but we’re getting the bare minimum of hours, which is, surprise, surprise, not enough to live on. I mean, unless we find an apartment that doesn’t require us to make three times the rent. Then it might be easier. We could do $1200. Maybe. This is so frustrating. Even with tax returns and outside help covering a deposit, our monthly income won’t be enough to please most renters around here. Which is so stupid. We are working out butts off. I feel like going to my manager, and saying, “Hey, before you hire another 18-year-old who has never worked retail before, can you maybe remember that those of us who are already here have bills to pay?” Seriously. Yes, I am trying to look for writing jobs, office jobs, anything, but there is nothing. If you want to offer advice, don’t. Unless you have an actual job you want to offer to me. I know how to look for jobs. I have been trained and coached and educated. I have been trying. What I need right now is someone who wants me to do what I went to college for, and maybe some health benefits.


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