The other day, a guy I had just met at mutual friend’s house asked me, “How did you know your husband was the guy you wanted to marry?”
I said, “Well, we both knew pretty early on that we were meant for each other, but I guess what set him about from the other guys I’ve dated was that I could be nerdy with him.”
It’s true. Some of the first things we bonded over were Harry Potter and Doctor Who. More than once, something someone said would remind both of us of the same random line in the same episode of Doctor Who. For Christmas, when we’d only been talking for 2 months and hadn’t even met in person yet, he sent me a sonic screwdriver. For my 21st birthday party, which I celebrated at his house in Missouri, we decorated his home theater like a red carpet premiere, dressed up really nice, watched Deathly Hallows Part 1 on DVD, then saw Part 2 at an AMC theater! He got me into Avatar: The Last Airbender, so now we watch Legend of Korra together. I grew up watching Stargate:SG1 with my family but didn’t remember any of it when we started watching it together last year. We just finished season 9 and Ark of Truth, and still need to get more than a few episodes into Atlantis and watch Continuum. He says to pretend that Stargate: Universe never happened. Okay. He also got me into Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, and Supernatural, and we both love Firefly. He’s shown me a few episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation, and I like it, but not as much as Stargate.
But besides all of these things we love to watch, we also have a common way of thinking. We are big on grammar and spelling, love bad puns, and make each other laugh with the same kind of silly and dorky humor. He’s read more books than I have (which I blame on my high school, which for some reason did not assign the classics that most high schools in this country did), actually enjoys reading my writing, and even enjoys writing himself. He took an “outdoor semester” in college and kept a notebook of nature writing, descriptions, musings that is very well-written and beautiful. He is passionate about math, science, and learning everything he can about them. He is passionate about learning. He is passionate about passing that knowledge on to others. That, in my mind, is what a nerd is. They know what they like and they love it. The live and breathe it. They want to learn, more and more, all the time. Whether it is quantum mechanics, or all the of the writings of every great writer who ever lived. That is what I am, and that is what he is. I could never fully be my nerdy self with other guys I dated because they were not the nerd I needed.
But he is. And that’s why I married him.